My boyfriend and I were so much in love until he thinks that I was cheating on him. I had talk to male co workers, just at work, saying hi and a little talk. After work, no contact. He does not trust me at all and he constantly think that I am cheating. I don’t consider co workers as love affairs but he does not see it that way. How can I make our relationship last without him thinking I am a cheater? Fyi..3 year and a half relationship
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Kazan Male
Your relationship cannot be as close as you’d like it to be if you’re not willing to shift your attitude about your differences, i.e. what causes the friction between you. In the beginning, you probably thought his differences were cute, adorable, enchanting even. As you became more familiar, some of those differences have probably begun to wear on you, maybe even make you a little bit crazy. It’s important to remember that it’s our differences that make us interesting to each other. It’s essential that you remember you two are not the same, that you don’t want to be the same, and life would be less interesting if you were too much the same. The trouble is, most of the time it’s the differences that cause most of the problems in a relationship.
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If he saves money and you like to spend it; if he’s messy and you’re tidy; if he likes to eat at 6:00 sharp and you eat when you’re hungry; if he’s too lenient with the kids and you’re strict; if he’s casual and you’re more formal; if he likes sex in the morning and you like it at night; if he likes sex more often than you do; you’re going to have trouble if you don’t know how to deal with your differences. Generally, it’s the differences that breed resentment and distance. Would you like to know how to make those irritating differences be a vehicle for deeper intimacy? This is a very important topic to embrace if you want to truly guarantee a lifetime of love.
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Help! i am sooo confused right now. I have a boyfriend whom i have been with for a year until he had to go overseas to study.Our relationship was ok. It was niether good nor bad. I wasn’t very happy with him because i felt he was a control freak, very needy and jealous too. He hates it when i keep in contact with male acquaintances because he thinks i hook up with all of them even though i explain countless times that they are just friends.It always feels like am walking on eggshells when an with him. We never seem to understand each other and are constantly at each others’ throats quarreling over so many things.And now it feels like he’s a nag and a very irritating one. He always gives me the cold or silent treatment when he doesn’t get his way, yet he doesn’t like to listen to me and see my perspective too. Yet, i know he loves me deeply and is seeking long – term commitment. I also believe the distance has played a part in our problems.He’s been very supportive and i have always believed that things can be better between us.He has gotten violent before, once.Because he thought i was cheating… again. I want to end it with him because i want to be happy and free to be me and live how i want to live but i feel i might be making a mistake….Help???
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True intimacy is an ability to open up to each other and allow yourselves to be vulnerable. The only way a person can be vulnerable with another is if they know they’re not going to be attacked. They must know that what they have to share is going to be heard, honored, and accepted as what’s true for that person. If you and your husband have gotten into the habit of attacking each other because of your differences, then this is going to be a very difficult habit to change. But it ‘ essential if you are going to develop the kind of intimacy that lasts a lifetime. Before discussing how to bridge this gap, let me inspire you to seriously consider staying open to the possibility that the following might be the best way to guarantee a lifetime of love. That’s because you’re going to turn the primary reasons for divorce into the most precious means to ever-deepening intimacy.